I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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