Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
