I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
