you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
