When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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