PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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