I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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