and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
