He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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