I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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