Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
