i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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