thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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