Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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