How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
