sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
