He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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