God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
