when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
