Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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