Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
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