No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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