don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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