So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
