Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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