I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
