just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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