at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
