Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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