you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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