You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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