So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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