don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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