Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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