If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
