I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
