hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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