I bet he comes in French.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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