Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
