Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
