this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
