I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
