Do vagina's smell?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
