Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
