If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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