apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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