He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i can't believe i had my finger in that
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
