yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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