and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
