Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
