He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
