it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
